For years, it has been tradition to ask a father’s permission to marry his daughter. But many wedding traditions today are being broken, like wearing a white dress and seeing the groom before walking down the aisle. So what’s the deal with this tradition? Should you or shouldn’t you ask for a father’s blessing before popping the question?

This act may seem like ancient history, but in the end, it all comes back to the idea of respect. Coming to the father doesn’t mean what it used to. There was once a time when men paid a visit to a woman’s father and marriage was more a matter of class, status and other financial arrangements, while love was pushed by the wayside. But today, a visit simply lets her parents know that you’re sincere in your actions, and you’re serious about starting a life with their child. And if you score some points with your future father-in-law in the process, well that’s just a bonus. Plus, many women find it charming that you went to their father to ask his permission like a true gentleman. Just imagine if you had a daughter and her boyfriend came to you and asked for her hand. Chances are, you would appreciate the gesture of being kept in the loop.

Most of the time, the father’s approval is almost expected. After all, you pretty much know where you stand with her father if you’re thinking about marrying her. But even when a smooth approval is expected from the father, there is still something nerve wracking about the process. Let’s be honest, dads can be intimidating, especially when it comes to their children. Here are some tips to get you through the traditional event smoothly:

Start with your feelings
The best way to start this conversation is simply by telling him how you feel about his daughter. Explain to him how much she means to you and mention specific qualities about her. He’ll start to get the idea.

Make a promise
Marriage is a huge deal, and you’ll want to leave her father comforted that she is in great hands. Make a promise that you’ll always be there to take care of her. After all, her father wants to be sure that he’s handing her off to someone that will be just as good to her as he was.

Are you choosing to ask her father for permission to marry his daughter? Share your thoughts with us!

Photo credie: Virgil Bunao via Style Me Pretty